


and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

by ultravires



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Broken Promises, Character Study, Kim Mingyu-centric, M/M, What-If, mentioned onesided!minwon, past!gyushua
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27761386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultravires/pseuds/ultravires
Summary: "Do you know I used to like you?" Jisoo asks, mirth dancing in his eyes. There's a genuine smile on his face and that's how Mingyu knows Jisoo is both serious and joking. "I mean, not likelike, but I was getting there.""Really?" Mingyu said, feigning surprise. Jisoo couldn't tell if it's pretend or if he's actually surprised—usually, Mingyu is easy to read. He cannot act for shit. "Because me too."(Mingyu and Jisoo think about their what-ifs. They were something, weren't they?)
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [the 1 - Taylor Swift](https://open.spotify.com/track/0Jlcvv8IykzHaSmj49uNW8?si=3y24-kNtTyeOZTxR-xZc2Q). a part of teen, age on twitter. 
> 
> title from [The End - The Beatles](https://open.spotify.com/track/5aHHf6jrqDRb1fcBmue2kn?si=2OlAF3aDTWOor6qc5aYzzA).

There's something about Jisoo that makes people feel comfortable with him. Mingyu thinks it's something that's unexplainable—it's just something that Jisoo is. Maybe it's same way people feel hyped when Mingyu is around, he's been told his presence brightens up the mood or something. Pretty sure it's agitated rather than hyped, but potato po-ta-to.

They seem to always meet each other this way: in the secretariat room, Jisoo alone working on something on his laptop, Mingyu on his way to drop something off before going on his way but ends up spending time with Jisoo instead.

Now is no different, except everything is different. 

"Do you know I used to like you?" Jisoo asks, mirth dancing in his eyes. There's a genuine smile on his face and that's how Mingyu knows Jisoo is both serious and joking. "I mean, not like _like_ , but I was getting there."

"Really?" Mingyu said, feigning surprise. Jisoo couldn't tell if it's pretend or if he's actually surprised—usually, Mingyu is easy to read. He cannot act for shit. "Because me too."

There was a time when Mingyu loved the wrong person too much and it was literally him against the world. Jisoo was like a breath of fresh air when he was suffocating, and for a split second he sees Jisoo in a different light.

"You were so nice, you know? Not that you aren't nice now, but back then..." Jisoo trails off, seemingly not knowing what words could describe Mingyu. He's struggling to continue before finally settling with, "Back then it felt different."

Mingyu felt different too, back then. Maybe it was the heartbreak. Maybe it was the desperation. Whatever it was, he felt compelled to protect this too-nice-of-a-person, to shower him with all the adoration he deserved, because Jisoo lived like he's never been treated like he was special. Mingyu remembers wanting to show Jisoo that he's enough, that he shouldn't do it all alone.

"Was that why you liked me?" Mingyu blurted out before he can help it. God, him and his big mouth that can't shut up. He should learn how to read the room.

Jisoo leans back and thinks. It looks like he's thinking hard, even though it was a simple question. Then again, feelings aren't always simple. If it were, they won't be having this discussion right now.

"A part of it, yeah. But I think it was because you were at the right place at the right time."

Mingyu doesn't get the context, but he relates to it 100%. Jisoo didn't even do anything, but he was there. He was just there when Seokmin got together with Wonwoo, his best friend and his crush. Everything hurts, it hurts so much because he loves Seokmin but he _loves_ Wonwoo, and it's not the end of the world but it sure felt like it.

"You're also nice," Mingyu tells Jisoo, "sometimes you're too nice for your own good."

A laughter bubbles out of Jisoo. "Yeah, you've told me that."

"No, seriously! You're like, always helping people and stuff, but it's so hard for you to let people help you. Cut yourself some slack, you deserve the break."

"Well," Jisoo says, "why don't you listen to your own advice?"

And that's when it hit Mingyu.

God, they would have been so good together.

They were both hurt, they both needed taking care of because they're so used to taking care of other people. On a level greater than just clicking and liking the same things, they understand what it's like to live everyday putting other people's happiness before theirs and not receiving the same amount of affection they give to others.

Mingyu doesn't know how to not be nice. His whole life, he's been putting other people first. He's the type to help other people put on their oxygen mask before putting on his own when the plane crashes. And he doesn't even have a past trauma to blame on: Mingyu just has this quality about him that makes him inherently nice. It's his problem, his fatal flaw. He has too big of a heart that he is willing to do everything and anything to save the people he cares about.

That's why he sat with Wonwoo there at the park for literal hours, watching the sun set and see the sky turn dark, back settling on concrete. He's so desperate to save Wonwoo from his inner demons that he forgets that he already promised someone else his time and attention.

"We were something, weren't we?" He finally asks in a tiny voice. 

Even if they weren't, they were onto _something_. Mingyu doesn't know what hurt Jisoo, his past scars, but had he spent a little more time trying to let go of his one-sided feelings for Wonwoo and learn to take care of Jisoo, he is sure he could stick around long enough for something beautiful to grow from the cracks of their hearts.

"We were," Jisoo agrees. A hint of wistfulness flashes on his face and Mingyu suddenly feels so guilty for having inflicted pain upon layers of pain Jisoo already has to endure inside. Jisoo, who always loves too much for his own good, who is hard to himself but nurturing to others, who blames himself for things he didn't do, who has the softest heart in the whole world. 

"I'm sorry." Mingyu owes at least that to Jisoo. For leaving him alone. For keeping on chasing pavements instead of pursuing an opportunity right in front of him. In another time and space continuum, in another life, given another chance, maybe they would work out. They could work out. There's a very big plausibility that Mingyu falls out of love with Wonwoo and into Jisoo's arms instead, had time turned. 

"Why?"

But time moves only forward and leaves no space for those who hesitate, leaving them where they are right now.

"For breaking your heart."

It's silent for a while. Mingyu feels his heart going overdrive in his chest, fearing that he's reading it all wrong, that it's not the case at all—

"It's not your fault," Jisoo tells him. There is a smile on his face, soft, softer than any other smiles Mingyu has ever seen on him. It is also a little sad and Mingyu wants so bad to erase the sorrow before he realizes he did have the chance to do so, before he blew it.

"Maybe not," Mingyu agrees, "but I'm still sorry."

Jisoo doesn't answer. Instead, he gathers his things and gets up. Had he said something wrong? Did Mingyu hurt Jisoo's feelings again? He's getting ready to apologize a second time before Jisoo opens his mouth.

"You can't fix what you're not meant to fix," Jisoo says, "and it would've been sweet if you did, but I don't think we were meant to be."

The door swings close behind Jisoo, a reminiscent to the ending story between them.

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to write something that hurts and this one does just that, from start to finish.


End file.
